October Madness

When tight comes the grip

Caught unawares

Seldom can one wriggle free

Of this October madness

With each turn for freedom

Ever deeper the web is spun

Pocket holes for air to sustain life

Choked up yet freely breathing you remain

The madness catches you

Twist, turn and make you burn

But alas one wishes to remain

Caught ever more deeper in it

With the birth of new hopes for every hope that got killed

One knows the worth of October

That with faith calm becomes the madness

Ironically Yours

Laughters and smiles they fill the rooms

As many as the repartee exchanged

Squabbles and quietude with their fair share

I am the builder and you the tenant

Yet you help me out in building it

The lounge is airy, full of sunshine

The kitchen will smell good once you decide to cook

I've lined your bedroom walls with floral patterns

That you'd be reminded of my part

My signature is left on your back door

That when you walk out you'd walk into me

A figment is all of you with me

I am, ironically, yours.

The Curse of September

i can hear the birds sing at a distance
as a cool breeze brushes my face;
misty eyed i stare at the heavenly sky above
can the world be any more serene & calm?
the heart's content yet so alone
oh September, can't you spare me just this year?

Every year, come September, I am overtaken by nostalgia. Anywhere I am, I miss the places where I have been, the people I have met, home and my family. Gazing out from my window, all I see is trees. Yes, these trees block my view of the open field that lay beyond and a bright, red-coloured school next to it. But I don't complain; how can I when these trees house the lovely birds that are singing melodies that makes me feel so refresh. This year, September reminds me of my days in Shillong. Beautiful they were as the long monsoon days started to wane and bright, cool days took over. I remember the evenings me and my friends would sit out in the balcony of our hostel, endlessly talking as we gazed at the hill across us, which by the way is a cemetary. I truly missed those days. But how can these ever compete with the wonderful mornings that I so used to cherished then. Waking up in the chilly mornings to the sound of BoneyM singing played from tape recorders in neighbouring houses was always wonderful.
Today I remember the time we were on a trip to a place close to Shillong. I can't really recall whether its was September or not, but I'm sure it was. A couple of us from church had accompanied our Pastor on this trip and we had a great time. It was evening as we started our journey back to Shillong and we were on a bus. We started singing Christmas songs as the guys insisted since we had entered the month of "ber" though Christmas was still far away. As we were singing, I looked out from the bus window and I gaped at the scenary before me which was so beautiful under the moonlight. I looked above at the bright sliver moon; I could no longer hold my tears back. To this day I still cherished that wonderful feeling that I had at that moment, I was so thankful then that I have been given a life and the chance to experience that.
And today, as this September evening once again befall me, I find it hard to push back these memories from entering my mind. Maybe its the clear, calm and cool evening but I am not going to curse the weatherman. In fact I am so thankful to Him that I am well and alive today, to witness His greatness that unendingly shows through His creations. I am happy that I am able to feel loneliness and content at the same time. I am indeed so blessed.

Confession of the Confused

Is it the west wind that has come and blown my love away,

Or is it just a passing phase?

I've heard true love never dies,

How come mine is dead and gone a thousand miles?

Years of fantasies and good dreams

Turning out to be a farce or so it seems.

Is it the years that have robbed me out

Or am I yet to fall again?

Time will answer all my doubts,

Until then I'll wait and watch.

Then

"Lavender's blue deellee, deellee,
Lavender's green;
When I am king deellee, deellee,
You shall be queen,"
1990
With red dresses and make-ups, we sashayed on the stage. The boys wore school-uniforms but had little bow-ties to make them look a little dressed up. He took me to the venue that day. It was my first parent's day function and I was in kindergarten. He watched me from the back, from behind all the parents who were present. My mom was in the crowd.

"Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curd and whay..."
1991
I wore a cream-coloured dress and my cheeks were bright red from the lipstick that was used as a blush. I had a ribbon on my forehead and little wings, all matching to my dress. I was a fairy this time and my class was enacting the 'Little Miss Muffet' play. I was in class-I and this time too he stood watching from the back. After the function, he took me aside and asked his friend to click a photo of me holding the prize I'd just won, for 'best attendance' that year.

"Shepherds! Shake off your drowsy sleep,
Rise and leave your silly sheep;"...
1992
This time I was an angel. He had worked so hard on my wings that I in fact had the best wings amongst the angels. That day, unknowingly, I had worn my wings upside down so before our play he told my mom to fix it for me. I was called outside and my mom adjusted the wings for me. Again, he stood watching from the back.

5:00 A.M
1994
I woke up earlier than usual. That morning we were running a cross-country race. At the beginning of the race, I ran fast. But I slowly tired down and by the end of the race, I was half walking. Later at home, he told me he had waited so long to see me run up to the spot close to where he was watching.

"Animals in Captivity"
1996
I chose this topic for an elocution competition. He was way excited than I was. The night before the competition, he made me practise on and on. My eldest sister was just as enthusiastic and so they eagerly took me to my uncle's place. They wanted me to practise in front of my cousin who is good at this sort of thing. The next day, I won first prize. He gave me ten bucks as a reward.

"You're the first in class"
1998
It was an aunt who told me my examination result. None from my family had the time to go and pick up my result as he was bed-ridden. He smiled when he heard this and sat up on his bed. This would be the last time that he was going to give me his support, the last time that he would beam whenever I accomplished something, the last time that he would ever hear about me.

A week passed. Then he was gone. My father, who always gave me tremendous support, was no more. On that fateful day in May, I lost my special spectator who never tired himself of watching me from the back, from behind the crowd.

Phoenix

Despised from birth
Oft' cursed as blunder.
She wrought and toil
From dusk till dawn.
'Silence' - her loudest voice
E'er drawing sarcastic eyes.
Though belittle her heart beats strong
Wrapping in love her little ones
That none can break nor beat it down.
She is the girl child
The second best;
Forever fighting for her place.
But like a phoenix she rises again
Over and over though burnt to ashes.
She is the woman
Who soars in grace
Embracing pain and joy alike.

.........

We humans are funny creatures. If we really or rather badly want something, we are ready for anything. No matter what, the adrenaline always kicks in and voila we give our all. Be it in love, career or even the simplest of things like common neccesities. So it became no different for me although it has nothing to do with love or career but simply life and a movie.
A sunny day
1:3o p.m
Delhi
200 bucks
and so it went like that. One sunny friday morning, I woke up and decided to go for a movie. I had been waiting for this release since last year and could wait no longer. So I called up a friend who wanted to come along and the two of us set out. We went for a midday show and I'm sure if you've experienced this Delhi summer you'll surely say 'wow'. Even indoors, this heat can drain you out. Venturing out at this time would have been only for important matters, but nothing could outdone our enthusiasm. Braving the heat, me and my friend rushed out as we were almost late. There was a traffic jam and my mind was already planning to watch the part that we would be missing at the first chance that I could. We sort of ran to the venue. We stood in line but much to our relief, a man sold us his tickets. Without hesitation, I shed 200 bucks. Maybe this is nothing for some, but on a student's budget it really is something else. I would have never done this on normal occasions but this was special. We were lucky because the moment we took our seats, the movie started.
It felt good. Satisfying. I don't regret any of the things that I did for this movie.
Being a Potter fan, I'm sure you'll understand.
So go on, don't hesitate and give yourself a treat once in a while. The satisfaction that you get later is worth it. But make these occasions rare, otherwise the worth of it will be underestimated.